Sept. 1, 2026

Lady Wisdom - Proverbs 31 Woman

Show Notes
Transcript

The Proverbs 31 woman has been handed to generations of women like a holy to-do list—but that misses the bigger picture.

This woman is Lady Wisdom in action: strong, strategic, skilled, generous, financially savvy, and rooted in the fear of the Lord. She buys land, builds wealth, manages resources, teaches wisdom, cares for the vulnerable, and is praised for the fruit of her own hands.

In this season finale, Cassandra Barbato and Amber Jenks take a fresh look at Proverbs 31 and uncover a picture of biblical womanhood that looks a lot less like fitting into a role—and a lot more like living a life shaped by the wisdom of God.

This episode includes AI-generated content.

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Welcome back, Mayhem Makers.

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This is Cassandra Barbato.

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Your host. And Amber Jean's your co-host.

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We are very excited because we are going to be

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finishing our first full.

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Season, eight episodes.

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And then we're going to take a break and we're

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going to be prepping for the next season.

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Today, we're going to talk about the.

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Proverbs 31 woman. And we're going to dive into what

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is biblical womanhood.

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You know? Fitting conclusion. Yeah.

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Ultimately, we're elevating the woman back to her rightful position

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alongside the man. We want to make sure that everybody

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that is in Christ, the entirety of the church, understands

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that they have the right. to respond to any gift

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or calling that the Lord is trying to pull them into.

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So before we get into the whole passage, we're going

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to read the whole Proverbs 31. It's actually a poem,

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very cool stuff. But before we get into that, I

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want to just kind of explore a little bit about

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some of the presentations of biblical womanhood according to how

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we were raised. I wasn't raised in the church, so

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I didn't really have biblical womanhood as part of my

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training or my upbringing. My parents, they just basically kind

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of duped it out for who was going to take

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over what responsibility, you know, not physically.

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You get what I'm saying, right?

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And then I didn't have extended family even that was

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trying to model some version of line of authority or

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anything like that. So the biblical womanhood as far as

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the man being in charge and the woman being subordinate

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did not get introduced to me until I was in

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my teens. It didn't resonate with me, I think, as

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much as it would have if I had been raised

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in it. I know that you actually were raised in

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the church, and so you have a little bit of

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a different upbringing in what that looked like.

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Oh, for sure.

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I mean, as early as I can remember going to

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Sunday school and anything as just a child, it was

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taught that the woman's position was to grow up to

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be an aid to her husband, to be submissive to

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her husband, to basically bend and bow and whatever he

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needs to make it better, right?

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I mean, I even remember.

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In high school age and youth group in the purity

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culture that really boomed at that time i think there

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was even a campaign called true love waits and you

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get the purity ring and you promise it was a

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covenant to god but it was impressed upon that you

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were as a woman saving yourself for the husband that

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you were training to be with like your whole upbringing

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was this practice and trying to become the woman that

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he needs not finding your own identity in christ but

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preparing to be his wife. I know the church I attended,

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we did a whole weekend. It was a whole discipleship

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training weekend. We had sweatshirts made. Oh, wow.

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It was, yes, they were bright red.

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These like Hanes sweatshirts that had true love weights on them.

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And the boys went and stayed in a host house.

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It was some family in the church and they did

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a little overnight stay and they went through different scriptures

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and looking at how they're supposed to preserve their heart

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and make that commitment to God. But at the girl's house,

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it was presented as you're going to make the commitment

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to God, but you really want to stay pure for

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your husband because he deserves a pure wife. And if

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you're not pure, you're not going to marry the man

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that you're intended to marry.

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Interesting. I think I had a ring at some point.

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I still have mine. I bought it in Mexico.

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Oh, you do?

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On a mission trip. Oh, wow. It was like eight bucks,

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but it's silver.

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I did a Mexico mission trip, too. I think what

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you were talking about with your in-laws.

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Oh, yeah.

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I brought a child into the relationship, and I had

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been working, and they even encouraged me to get a

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job and to not be a mooch. And then once

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we got married and I got pregnant with my son,

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I had to take a step back. I have some

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health challenges that required me to not work. So they

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stepped in, and they were very supportive, and they paid

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the car payment because we had gotten a new car.

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And they were taking care of that for us. Well,

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I had a C-section. Six weeks went by. I got

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released from the doctor. I'm going back to work. Granted,

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I wasn't married to the best of men. So being

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independent was financially was kind of top tier for me.

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So I want to go back to work. And they

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so much as said, if I wasn't going to stay

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home and take care of their grandson and their son

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and be there to support and care for him, then

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they were no longer going to help us financially. They

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were going to stop helping pay the car payment. And

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I was like, Okay, well, I'm going back to work,

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so I don't mean you to do that.

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But what a weird threat.

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Yeah. Because all of a sudden, because I'm now married

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and have another child with my husband, I now need

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to be home and do nothing but take care of

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the kids and fix his lunch.

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Yeah. I didn't see any of that growing up. That

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wasn't a thing. Yeah.

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Over here, it was pretty predominant. I had a very

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good family, so it wasn't ever... berated or right but

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it wasn't honored when my mother had to go get

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a job because she divorced my father it was a

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had to not a she desired to be independent it

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was well since she messed up her life she's got

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to go work.

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Now proverbs 31 there seems to be actually this is

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something i picked up on from here that it almost seems,

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you could correct me if I'm wrong, that women have

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been made to feel like they have to be all

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of these things. And it's almost been put on them

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as a list of, you're supposed to be all of

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these varieties of qualities, like a weight.

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Of a burden. Correct.

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It is a very comparison centered list of characteristics.

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And that is what.

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You would to achieve, to be the worthy wife, the

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godly woman, the where you're supposed to be.

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This is end game. This is how you're supposed to be.

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And that's wild to me.

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Because I remember when I would read through Proverbs 31,

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I would be like, this woman is, she's a badass.

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She's a businesswoman. She's wise. She's caring. She fears the Lord.

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She's blessed.

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I mean, to me, I was like, this is good stuff.

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So I didn't see it as like a list of

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to-dos in order to be worthy to some future husband

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of mine. I just saw it as something that was

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a positive representation of what a wise, godly woman looks like.

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I have heard it spun a little bit to be

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more domestic.

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Mm-hmm.

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Than it actually is.

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Looking at the historical context and some of the language

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that's used is actually really cool. And this is not

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a domestic passage about some woman who's just at home

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making food and clothes for her family. So I think

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that's going to be fun to look into and dive

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in a little bit.

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Yes.

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Do you want me to read it? There's not a

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lot of names, so I'm willing.

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To read this. Yeah, go for it.

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As we get into this, you can kind of have

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a little bit of a perspective of this is a

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mother giving an oracle, words of wisdom to a son.

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And this is potentially King Solomon, a nickname for him.

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But ultimately, we were not really sure who the king is.

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Starting in verse 10, it says, An excellent wife who

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can find, for her worth is far above jewels. The

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heart of her husband trusts in her and he will

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have no lack of gain. She does him good and

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not evil all the days.

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Of her life.

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She looks for wool and flax and works with her

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hands in delight. She is like merchant ships. She brings

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her food from afar. She rises also while it is

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still night and gives food to her household. and portions

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to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it.

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From her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She girds herself

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with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that

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her gain is good. Her lamp does not go out

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at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

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and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand

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to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to

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the needy. She's not afraid of the snow for her household,

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for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes

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coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

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Her husband is known in the gates. When he sits

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among the elders of the land, she makes linen garments

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and sells them and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength

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and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.

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She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of

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kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the

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ways of her household and does not eat the bread

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of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her, her

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husband also, and he praises her, saying, Many daughters have

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done nobly, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful

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and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord,

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she shall be praised. Give her the product of her

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hands and let her works praise her.

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In the gates. It's really a cool passage. It really is.

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It's a beautiful passage.

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And going back to what, you know, I was previously taught,

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we always read all that and then they were like,

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And here are the traits that make you a virtuous,

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priceless woman. And trustworthy from verse 11. Productive from verses

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13 through 19. Generous from verse 20. Prepared from verse 21.

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Elegant from 22. Wise in speech from 24. And God-fearing

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from verse 30. And then remove all the context.

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And it's not like those things aren't there in the text, too.

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They are, but that's a tall order to live up

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to if this is what you're supposed to achieve to

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be a good wife.

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Right. And a good mother and a good woman.

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So, and that's why I think what I'm going to

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say next is going to be so important because what I,

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what I have discovered in my study is that this

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is a poem and it is a poem that's actually

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devised in an interesting way. There's 22 letters in the

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Hebrew language and the way this poem is set up

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is that beginning each line is the next consecutive letter

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of the Hebrew alphabet. So it's basically like what we

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would have A through Z, right?

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And they use that style, this A to Z style

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for a specific purpose, right?

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Yes.

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And it's very cool because basically when you study the

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book of Proverbs, you find there's lady wisdom and then

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there's also the woman of folly. And they're contrasted all

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throughout the book of Proverbs. And, you know, obviously you

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want to avoid the woman of folly and you want

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to pursue lady wisdom. And there's all kinds of things

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promised in lady wisdom. There's long life.

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There's wealth. good stuff, right?

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This poem of Proverbs at the end here is a

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culmination of the teachings of wisdom. Basically, it is taking

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lady wisdom, which is wisdom personified as a woman, and

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bringing the complete teaching into.

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View in one poem.

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In other words, It's like saying this is everything from

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A to Z on the subject of wisdom. It's wisdom

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in action. Like what a life that is completely filled

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with wisdom looks.

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Like in action.

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Which completely opens up this teaching to go well beyond

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how to be a good wife.

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Right?

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It's a little deeper than... Yeah.

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Now we've gone from... There's a surface level teaching of...

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of a woman giving her son instructions on, hey, when

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you look for a spouse, there's some things that you

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would like to have a part of that conversation. and

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takes it from just that surface level. And now it

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becomes a teaching to the entirety of God's people of

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what it looks like to live out a wisdom-filled life.

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That's so much cooler, by the way, because now we

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really dig in and you can go verse by verse

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looking for real nourishment on what wise living looks like.

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And you find that in this lady wisdom, There's everything

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from business strategy, skills, giving to the poor, being full

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of peace, having a good outlook on the future, and

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all of this being rooted in her fear of the Lord.

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And the ultimate outcome is that she is praised and

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has a life filled with every good thing.

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Right out of the gate.

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There's some interesting language used. It talks about her being

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a woman of valor. It says an excellent wife. who

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can find, for her worth is far above jewels. But

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that excellent wife there, who can find, this is a

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woman of valor. And that's actually the word that's used.

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It's a word that means valor. Military power, elite warrior,

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army of tactical prowess. So this is the type of

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imagery that goes along with valor, right? And that's how

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they present lady wisdom from the beginning, that excellent wife.

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The next thing it goes into in verse 11 is

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that her husband is going to have no lack of gain.

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That word gain there is spoils of war, not typically

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how we think of biblical womanhood. And so there's the

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imagery that's coming here as we're going to read about

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her economic management. And basically her returns generated by her

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economic management are compared to that of prize earnings. from

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a victorious military campaign. Typically, we think of biblical womanhood

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as being subservient, domestic, not woman of valor with tactical prowess,

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with spoils of war, right? Verse 12 goes on and says,

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that she does him good and not evil all the

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days of her life. Eastern treaty documents use that language

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in them. So this was covenant language. They would have

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understood that at the time that this was not just

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about the wife is supposed to always do nice things

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to the husband and she never does anything bad to him.

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This is something that would have been recognized as something

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you would see in a treaty, a covenant between two

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peoples or two people. And that's really what the marriage

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relationship is, right? There's a covenant relationship there. And so

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that's what this, it's bringing that into view. Then we

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go on and we get into this very business area.

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Verse 13, she looks for wool and flax and works

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with her hands in delight. When she's looking for wool

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and flax... These are the two industrial pillars. Wool comes

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from livestock. Flax comes from.

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The stems and seed of the flowering plant. So it

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is a flax plant and it's native to the Eastern

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Mediterranean to India.

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And they made linen out of it, right?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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So, but these were like the two industrial pillars. They

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formed the economic foundation of the Mediterranean textiles.

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At this time.

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She seeks them is that she's actually having an active

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procurement of it. She's like going after looking for these things.

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So if you're looking at this from a practical standpoint,

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you're looking at a woman who's a very business-minded woman, right?

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Yes. I mean, this text is elevating women in business

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and leadership, proving that career calling and creativity have always

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been part of the blueprint for a godly womanhood.

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Yes.

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And then at a deeper level, we can start to

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look at this as like, what does wisdom look like

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in action for all of God's people? She's like a

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merchant ship. She brings her food from afar. And so

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this has to do with trade. In order for her

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to bring things from afar, she's got to have something

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to give.

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So she's her business endeavors.

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So she's dealing with some representative from another land and

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trading goods.

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Yes.

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So it's a very business situation.

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Very much so.

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She rises also while it is still night and gives

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food to her household and portions to her maidens. I

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think we think of like she's getting up and making

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breakfast for the kids in the hubby. But this goes

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along with that whole business mind. She's managing a full estate.

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She's getting up and giving portions and assignments. She's actually

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managing and overseeing the people who are going to be

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actively running the estate.

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It's her morning huddle.

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You're going to be handling this. You're going to be

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handling that. This is what I need done today. Here

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are the portions that you need for yourselves and also

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for the items that you'll need to continue to complete

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the work.

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That you have ahead of you.

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Yes, it's that not doing it all in human strength,

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but true strength knows how to delegate, build a community,

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and avoid that burnout.

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Right.

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That's something that all of humanity can get from this passage.

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Very leadership perspective, right?

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Right. I mean, this is something that me and you

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operate in week after week after week.

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This is what we do. Yes.

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We analyze, we assess, we go after things that are

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going to be the resources that we need.

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We delegate, we communicate.

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Yes.

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We allocate. Or we burn out.

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Right.

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So the next verse goes on.

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She considers a field and she buys it from her earnings.

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She plants a vineyard. Yes.

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In order to consider the field, she's not just like,

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I wonder if I want to buy some field. No,

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she goes to the land.

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She's looking at it. What's the water like? What's the

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soil like? Is this going to be a good return

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on my investment? This is a business mindset.

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Yes, and she buys it.

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She doesn't go, oh, husband, I did this research for you.

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Do you want to purchase this?

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Yeah. She went, she did it. She made the choice.

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It's done. Yes. The deal, she did it. Start to finish.

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Not the domestic painting that we have been told, right?

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She takes initiative on her own endeavors. purchases it from

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the surplus. So apparently she's very good at the business

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side of things because she has surplus not only to

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trade with, but also surplus for something that is a

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long-term investment because that's what it would be for that.

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So we're seeing manufacturing, we're seeing trade, we're seeing long-term investment.

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And we can also see that at that deeper level

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of seeing this as the A to Z on wisdom,

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a life filled with wisdom. You're diversifying your portfolio.

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Right?

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You know, she girds herself with strength and makes her

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arms strong. She senses that her gain is good. Her

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lamp does not go out at night. This is somebody

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who has surplus enough that their lamp doesn't go out,

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but they also have an ability to assess the market

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conditions and recognize their gain is good. Verse 19, she

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stretches out her hand to the distaff. I could be

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saying it could be distaff or distaff.

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One of the two. Distaff, distaff.

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And her hands grasp the spindle.

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All right.

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So from what I learned about this, looking at the

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historical context, this was an expectation of elite women that

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they would be masters at the art of making textiles.

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So she is representing a high level of skill, right?

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So we've got somebody who's business minded, diversifies their portfolio,

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can assess market conditions, can assess property and return on investment.

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They're also highly skilled.

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Yes. And one note that I had on this passage

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also is you don't have to sew your own clothes

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from scratch or grind your own wheat to embody this

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particular person. example, it's the practice looks different now, but

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